I struggle with myself constantly about sending our kids to school. When there are horrible things happening at school districts all over the country, I don’t want them to be there. I have literally sat outside in our vehicle waiting for them and ready to rush in if they needed me. And, Common Core is just ridiculous.

But, my kids thrive in their little country school.

I make a 40+ minute drive every day to take them to the school we carefully chose. They don’t attend the school that is less than mile from our house despite it being easier on us financially and time wise.

Our kids attend that school because there are 15 kids in each of their classrooms. The teachers are warm and friendly and huggy in a world that seems cold and sterile. Their teachers are passionate and exciting and honestly just LOVE teaching and it shows. The small staff of two teachers per grade were carefully constructed around the culture of the school.

So, I am sending my kids to school.

Honestly it’s more about me. I am a horrible teacher. Even with all of the materials in front of me, I have no idea where to begin. A part of me wonders if it’s straight up fear about not being good enough to teach my children what they need. My fear of letting my kids down and leaving them to fight for knowledge that I can’t teach them is greater than my fear of sending them to school.

So, I am sending my kids to school.

This year will be the first year since 2005 that all of our kids will be in school. Our last baby goes to school this Fall. I can’t tell you I have been strong about it. But, his school is an additional 10 minutes out of our way. It’s not the closet or the cheapest or even on the way to our boys’ school (preschool), but it’s the school we chose based on his personality and his needs and what would fit him best. He’ll be the 9th child in the class. Locally he would have been the 25th preschooler.

So, I will make my nearly one hour one way trip each morning to deliver our boys to the schools we have chosen for them. While I hate every second of being away from them, I am also dedicated to giving them the biggest advantage I can possibly muster. For us, carefully choosing the schools our children attend was the best choice for our family. Carefully thought out, researched and explored. Even if it’s harder or less convenient or more expensive. And to me, that is the definition of Crunchy – to forego the easiest route in order to give your children the best option possible for their health and wellbeing.