I have been the owner of this website for a whole 4 days and today someone told me on our Facebook page that people like me are why so many people hate crunchy moms.
All I asked was to be present with your baby while you were feeding or nursing. I never made a judgement. I never belittled. I just, well, I’ll just copy and paste to be sure you get the whole story…
“Mama’s, I plead with you this morning. Please put down the phone when you are feeding your baby. Whatever is on it is not as important as gazing into those little eyes and sharing uninterrupted and undistracted love with that baby. Whether you are nursing or bottle feeding it is SO important to have that moment each time. Hold them close and let them fill their bellies. Look at their little faces and how much they love you. Feel that bliss and pass it along to them.”
So anyway, apparently just mentioning detaching yourself from a device in your hand makes me so crunchy that it causes hate.
I am like 47% crunchy. I am not as crunchy as some moms and I am way more crunchy than others. I am still trying to figure out who drew the battle lines and who spit in their decaffeinated organic mocha latte.
For all I know the battle has been raging for decades. It comes down to moms feeling inferior or superior or feeling like other moms are inferior or superior. I have yet to hear a mom go up to another mom say anything at all along those lines to another moms face.
The moms I know out there reading this who are crunchy are probably are shaking their head in agreement (okay, i hope you are). Other moms can be the best resource we have for each other. Why? Because they have tried it, bought it, experienced it, talked about it, worked on it, used it, tested it, thrown it away, cried over it, read 18 books about it. They have been there. Now, imagine that mom combined with you. Imagine adding all of your been there done that to another amazing mom’s knowledge. Between the two or three or 300 of you, imagine what you could solve?
Every crunchy mom that I know (who, I admit, are 700% more crunchy than me in most cases) are SO amazingly supportive. They offer advice when needed, even if its tough for me to swallow. They are kind and gentle and understanding. I haven’t met a “snobby” crunchy mom. All of that leads me to wonder if some of the battle lines are imagined or self imposed.
Stay with me here…
Onto the birds and fish.
You see, moms are like the birds and fish in the book the Tao of Pooh.
Some moms are birds and some moms are fish.
A fish cannot fly and a bird cannot breathe under water.
A bird may want to be a fish and a fish may want to be a bird.
But, neither can live in each others places and thrive. They just can’t.
It is when we accept that we are either a bird or a fish that we learn to be happy with who and what we are.
The bird accepts that they cannot breathe under water or swim up the stream.
The fish accepts that they cannot sit on the tree branch or fly through the sky.
But they can accept what they are.
The fish can talk to the bird about being a fish. The bird can talk to the fish about being a bird. They can enjoy what each other know. The stories. The experiences. Imagine fish telling bird about swimming up the great river or the bird about flying over the mountains. The knowledge they can share of their experiences shouldn’t make them dislike one another.
Moms are the same way.
We each have our own parenting and mothering style. It’s unique to us based on the experiences and people that have come into our lives.
Some moms are crunchy, some moms are not.
And that is perfectly okay.
I will end with this. Even if another mom and I disagree or don’t see eye to eye. It’s perfectly okay. As moms we make choices based on what we feel is best for our children and our family. And that, my friends, is what makes ALL of us amazing moms.