When I told my husband I wanted to write an article about “crunchy” sex, I asked his advice about how it was different or better. Instead of the intelligent answer I expected from my highly-educated husband, he just stared into space for a minute and asked, “Is there a company that makes wooden sex toys, like “Melissa & Dong?”  We both burst into laughter.

All joking aside, crunchy sex is different (and better)!  While I’m not going into detail about my own sex life, I know sex is different for many crunchy moms due to conversations I’ve had with my friends who sit on both sides of the fence.  There are some “issues” that are often discussed in the crunchy community when it comes to sex.

  • Co-Sleeping: First of all, there’s the hotly debated issue of co-sleeping.  Those who have their little ones in their beds, or near their beds know that “mommy-and-daddy time” can be limited.  There is limited space. There is a noise factor (and we all know how terrible it is to wake a sleeping baby)!  And, of course, the thought of another person in the room is, well, disturbing, even if they don’t know what’s happening (and I sure hope they don’t)!
  • Breastfeeding: Breasts that used to belong to one’s mate suddenly belong to the baby.   The thought of that particular body part being “shared” for different applications is just plain weird for some crunchy mamas.  Of course, there’s the milk itself, which leaks and sprays in abundant blessings at the most inopportune times.
  • Natural Family Planning: Expanding on the notion of “inopportune:” Mamas who have recently given birth are believed to be extra-fertile, and are encouraged by doctors to take precautions.  But instead of popping a hormone pill daily, many crunchy moms use the “natural family planning” method, or “NFP.”  This means that before relations happen, mom must take her temperature, pee on a stick, and record various “signs” into a charting application that tracks her monthly cycle.  For those avoiding pregnancy, this time-consuming process is worth it for health reasons.  Unfortunately this method is not 100% effective at preventing pregnancy.  Those who prefer the “natural” style like to avoid condoms or other devices, so only have relations when they are in the “safe zone” of their cycle.   That’s not a great factor in spontaneity.
  • Lubricants: Many of my crunchy friends have been discussing this topic lately.  Evidently, almond and coconut oil are a favorite choice if trying to avoid mineral oils.
  • Different Down There: A lot of crunchy moms strive for a vaginal birth, (versus C-section), which is both a blessing and a curse if the arrival of baby, eh-hem, re-arranges the appearance of the down-below area.  While some of us are fine and proud of our motherly badges of honor, some of us are also shy or even a bit ashamed that things are not-so-new “down there.”  Couple that with some moms’ stretch-marks and other signs of a post-pregnant body, and we can be left feeling a little less than desirable in the bedroom.

In the end, I believe “crunchy” is better, even in the bedroom.

If mom and her man are both crunchy, this alone takes care of the worries, stress, and embarrassment surrounding all the issues discussed above.  Both woman and man are more in-tune with their own bodies, and each-other, while the crunchy man is usually an emotionally-available and sensitive person.  Let’s face it: Not all guys are like this!  This translates well from baby to mother in those first years as parents, and beyond.

The attached partner not only wants to know what’s going on with the mother of his children, but cares about her above all others.  He cares about her comfort, about her body image, and about her cycle.  He helps to ensure that the kids are in a safe place while he spends time with his lady.  He is not turned-off by lactating breasts, scars, or body parts being “re-arranged.”

He knows that what she puts on her body is just as important as what she puts into it, and he respects and is turned on by her natural beauty, and tells her so.  After all the work she does growing, birthing, and caring for his family, he strives to make sex easy and enjoyable for her.

For us ladies, that is a real turn-on, isn’t it?

So what’s your take on crunchy sex?  What makes it different? Is it better?