I shocked a crunchier acquaintance when I started this blog. She actually said, “Really? You’re not THAT crunchy!” As if driving a gas-guzzling truck and wearing non-organic make-up would kick me out of this imaginary “club” of cool moms who would never do anything the conventional way.

The thing is, crunchiness is not a competition. We all want to do right by our families and give them the very best. This can not be done with a one-size-fits-all approach. In truth, depending on your geographical location, any one of these things could earn you the title of being a “Crunchy Mom.”

You Might be a Crunchy Mom if…

  1. You make everything from bug spray to cleaning supplies.
  2. You have 1 or more children sleeping in your bed/bedroom.
  3. You use a cup or Mama Cloth during your menstrual cycle.
  4. You consumed your placenta.
  5. You have thrown or been invited to a chicken pox party.
  6. You swear breast milk and coconut oil can cure anything.
  7. You plan to or are actively homeschooling or unschooling.
  8. Your going out shirts must be nursing friendly.
  9. You dream of visiting “The Farm”.
  10. You can pronounce quinoa, tempeh and seitan.
  11. You use Family Cloth instead of toilet paper.
  12. You drink kefir and kombucha.
  13. You buy white distilled vinegar by the gallon.
  14. You kids aren’t the only family members that wear Baltic amber.
  15. You have shared breastfeeding pics on Facebook.
  16. You have breastfed a child that could ask for milk in a full sentence.
  17. You cringe when you see a “crotch dangler” baby carrier.
  18. You are fermenting food on your counter top right now.
  19. You keep your kids in extended rear facing car seats until they meet weight restrictions.
  20. You have dreamed about starting or living in a commune.
  21. You have complimented a complete stranger for nursing in public.
  22. You have given birth at home, intentionally.
  23. You have tried elimination communication with your baby.
  24. You charted your BBT and cervical mucus while trying to conceive.
  25. You own and use a composter.
  26. You make your own laundry detergent and use wool dryer balls.
  27. You know at least 3 ways to boost breastmilk supply.
  28. Your friends call you when looking for natural remedies.
  29. You own 2 or more baby wearing devices and know the difference between a wrap, a sling, and a mei tai.
  30. You have a medicine cabinet without medicine in it.
  31. You are an intactivist and you don’t have a son.
  32. You have gone no poo.
  33. Your children are on a delayed, selective, or nonexistent vaccination schedule.
  34. You drink green smoothies or juice your vegetables.
  35. You use cloth diapers and wipes. Bonus points if you made them yourself.
  36. You have watched “The Business of Being Born.”
  37. You think a chicken coop would be an awesome backyard addition.
  38. You make your own granola.
  39. You make your own breast pads.
  40. You let your children self wean.
  41. You know what cord burning is.
  42. You sprout grains and beans.
  43. You cook from scratch.
  44. You have a mini-farm in your yard that includes animals like chickens for eggs and goats for milk.
  45. You had a water birth or considered it.
  46. You gave birth at a birthing center.
  47. You don’t even own a clothes dryer.

 So, how did you size up? What would you add to this list?