For roughly thirty years, I’ve dealt with explaining my food allergies to new acquaintances. Yet, some comments still bother me by singling out my difference.
“Wow, what can you eat?”
Cutting out egg, wheat, and nuts is so mind boggling you really couldn’t come up with an answer? Like dairy, meat, fruit, and vegetables? Maybe this is my childhood haunting me, but I feel like a specimen on a slide when I’m asked this. The inflection implies that I must not be able to eat anything normal. If good natured curiosity insists you know more, try asking “So, what does a typical lunch look like for you?” or “What do you usually order at a restaurant?”
“Can you eat this? What about this?”
When adults ask this, its usually accompanied by a frantic rush around the kitchen and pantry to find something I can eat. Usually, odd items are pulled off the shelf. No, I don’t want a bag of microwave popcorn or a bowl of cereal in the middle of your party. No, I don’t want you to defrost and cook a piece of meat right now. I don’t like all the fuss. Unless you are throwing me a surprise party, then I should not be the focus of attention. (And if you are throwing me a surprise party, you should have done your research ahead of time!) Besides, if we did not discuss food, I probably ate before I came. If I decide I’m hungry, I will ask you some questions privately.
“Don’t worry. I made this just for you.”
I feel uncomfortable when anyone besides my husband, mother, or sister cook for me. Well intentioned people, even ones who know me well and understand food allergies, have made mistakes in the past by overlooking a small detail. I don’t want to insult you by asking lots of questions or rejecting your cooking because I don’t want to risk it. Also, if you didn’t ask me in advance, how do you know I like that dish? Just because my options are limited, doesn’t mean I like everything that’s safe to eat. Now, I’m faced with eating something I might not like to avoid looking ungrateful. Please don’t put me in that position; just talk to me about an alternative idea before the gathering.
“Oh, that must be why you’re thin.”
Food allergies does not equate healthy eating. As I write this, I’m eating Cool Ranch Doritos. True, my food limitations keep me from eating lots of unhealthy things, but there are plenty of choices left or alternative recipes. Don’t give my allergies all the credit; I still have to choose to eat healthy.
