At some point, most parents will search for transitions to help avoid toddler tantrums. Maybe it was the meltdown over leaving the park, or having to get in the bath after playing trains – that moment when your toddler gets all “exorcism” on you. It happens to the best of us. Having a secret weapon or two can help you avoid tantrums and help to sail smoothly through most transitions.
Hey, it is not their fault! You can’t get mad at your toddler because they arrived on this beautiful earth just a dozen or so months ago and haven’t quite learned to express their feelings or negotiate. (If any of you have tricks on how to get your tot to say “Hey mom, one more spin around the track to pick up those logs and I’ll hop right in the bath,” let me know!) And getting mad will just make you feel bad and upset your kiddo even more.
Here are some tricks for transitioning your toddler and avoiding a meltdown. And really, these work well for bigger kids, too.
Warn them – I have found that a countdown works wonders, especially after doing it for a while; kids learn to expect it. Start with a five minute warning – “Five minutes of play time left, then we have to leave the park, it is snack time!” Do the same thing for a three minute warning and then a one minute warning. The key is also sticking to it. If you say five minutes, mean five minutes. Don’t get caught up chatting or scrolling your phone.
Be silly – Moms can sing and dance their way out of most tantrums with kids. The sillier you are, the easier it is for them to laugh and move on. Kids have that amazing ability to adapt and move on quickly. If you need to leave in a hurry, but your kiddo isn’t having it, just start contorting your face all up and talking in a silly, singsongy voice. “Silly Billy, it’s time to goooooooo. Don’t make me kiss you all over and tickle your belly!”
Make it a game – Kids love games and you can turn just about anything into a game. You just have to use your imagination like a kid. Turn it into a race say, “Can you hop to the kitchen for lunch faster than mommy?” while demonstrating. Even the little guys will understand hopping and follow you.
Do you see that?! – It is true, a bit of trickery is involved here, but it is all in good fun and learning. Look far off into the distance and using your best acting skills gasp and say, “Do you see that? Is that a MONSTER TRUCK over here?! Let’s load up and see!” Of course after driving by the tractor you can conclude that this was not a monster truck, but it still is a very cool excavator.
Bribe them – I try to avoid this one at all costs, I really don’t like to bribe my kids. I don’t think it is a good habit, but we all have our moments of desperation. If my little one is ready for a nap and is heading to a complete break down, yet my three year old is having a Monster Truck rally with his best park friends and there is no way I am getting out of there, even with the silliest of acts or the best games, I resort to bribes. I will admit it! A Happy Meal, a movie, a HotWheel or (go ahead and judge me now!) a COOKIE! Whatever it takes to get out of there and save myself from a dual meltdown, I do it.
Of course picking up on your kiddos cues and learning their temperament is key. Sometimes none of these things will work and you are destined for doom. It happens, kids have bad days too. But most of the time these tricks work. Now you know what that mom is doing hopping her way out of the park while making a silly face.
